Nice Guys Finish Last

I remember when I was younger, around 17 through about 26 years old I was lucky enough to be able to date a variety of some really beautiful and desirable girls. Gee whiz, some didn't even make it to the "date" stage, our raging hormones were so urgent and strong. Regardless, I think I was too much of a straight shooter in that, I didn't get any of these girls pregnant. I practiced "safe" sex and was very careful not to make a "mistake".

Many of my less responsible friends and relatives however, were not nearly so careful and ended up fathering a few children here and there, much to the initial horror of their parents. It's not like they ended up working in a coal mine the rest of their lives either. Job opportunities magically appeared, not like when I graduated from college and I couldn't even get a job interview the first year. If you have a kid with somebody, trust me they're not going to let you sit there with no job offers. Somebody somewhere will know of some opportunity for you to work and help pay for that child.

Several decades later, I now find myself regretting my carefulness as my aforementioned acquaintance's children are gleefully shown in pictures by their "illegitimate" parents on various social media sites attending their high school reunions and weddings and everything else that normally happens to young people coming of age. All that early drama is long forgotten while "responsible" guys like myself are left out of all that fun stuff.

Nobody cares how "responsible" I was. "Oh Kurt we so admire you for not having a kid out of wedlock". Bullshit. They just think I'm a weirdo, for not having any kids. Don't be a responsible idiot. The goal is to father at least one child while you are young and in demand and strike while the iron is hot, or you'll be left out of the mix, wondering what might have been.

The end.

Sincerely,

Me

Starter Wife

Perception often affects our willingness to make important decisions, to take action instead of sitting on the sidelines and "missing the whole game". Life is about playing the game.

If you believe in being married before having children, the way it was when I was growing up, try to think of your first wife as a "starter wife". That way you can get married young, maybe in your early twenties or younger, and know with confidence that you'll still have plenty of time to recover from any mistakes you may have made in choosing a partner. Plus you won't pass up perfectly decent partners while waiting for Miss Perfect to show up and quite possibly miss out on marriage altogether when she never arrives. I've seen this happen.

The best that can happen is a young and crowded wedding where all your friends can attend and your parents too while they're still alive, one big party and then a lifetime of wedded bliss. The worst that can happen is you last maybe ten years before calling it quits in your early thirties, but you'll still be young enough to start over and maybe get a kid out of the deal who will be ten years old already.

If you hold out too long and you get too old before that first marriage, people will think you're weird anyway, so if you find yourself still dating in your thirties and never got married, tell people you're divorced.

Good luck.